If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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