I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
