The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize