I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
