Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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