She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
