Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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