epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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