so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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