No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
