And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
