i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
