Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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