I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it's like iHOP with fire
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
