Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
