yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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