dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
