im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
