i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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