possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
