this beer tastes like vomit already
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
