I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize