seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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