do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
