My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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