dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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