Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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