To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
