As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
