everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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