She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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