I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
