Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Say something about gay babies.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
