You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
