so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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