Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
