Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
