too bad you live with your parents still
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
