Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
