i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
