i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
