His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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