2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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