I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
