this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
