like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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