ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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