that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Let's paint friendship bongs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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