Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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