omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
