how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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