Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
