Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
organizing the empties. That sober.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
