I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I've blown a few things in my day
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
