Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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