I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
