That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
