She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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