Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
