i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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