so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize