Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
