Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
