At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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